


Twenty-Five to Life

by Butterballs



Series: Substitute Lover [3]
Category: Fast and the Furious (2001), Fast and the Furious Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterballs/pseuds/Butterballs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom thought he knew what it meant to have someone. Brian changed all that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty-Five to Life

Prison is not the ideal setting to realise that there are many, many different ways to ‘have’ someone. Unfortunately for Dom, that’s when the notion dawns on him.

It’s a peculiar concept, though, because he’s always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy. His previous girlfriends (as if he can really remember any of them before Letty) were all gorgeous, tempestuous, preposterously high-maintenance types who made his head hurt with their highs and lows. Letty was the same to the nth degree. There was never any middle ground with her. She was either blissfully happy or bubbling over with enthusiasm, whether it be over a car or a race or a friend; or eardrum-breakingly pissed off and to be avoided at all costs until her storm blows over. 

In fact, most of the people in Dom’s life are like that, so when Brian comes along with his unshakably easygoing nature and all-A-fuckin’-merican good looks Dom isn’t sure what to make of him. Dom doesn’t trust him, of course, at least at first, but Brian’s smile wears him down until he’s nothing but nerves. This – this _constancy_ is so foreign to him, and he straight-out asks Brian what his deal is one afternoon when they’re alone.

‘No deal,’ Brian says innocently. ‘I just…like all this, you know. I like you. Is that so hard to understand?’

‘No,’ Dom says, ‘But to be honest I’m waitin’ for you to lose your shit at something for no reason, like everybody else around here. You’re too _normal_.’ 

Later, he would see that was why he was so shattered when Brian revealed his identity as a cop – Brian wasn’t _normal_ ; he was as fucked up as the rest of them.

‘Sorry,’ Brian shrugs, and then grins. It’s contagious. Everyone smiles around Brian (well, not Vince, but Dom’s sure it’s just a matter of time until Vince cracks).

‘Naw, don’t apologise. It’s fine. It’s nice. It’s…not really what I’m used to.’

It doesn’t take Dom long to notice the way Brian looks at him. It’s head-swimmingly honest _want_ that makes Dom shiver and his jeans grow tight even though he’s never displayed anything resembling a homosexual tendency previously. It should be confusing as hell, it should make him want to yell at Brian to get the fuck out of his life and never come back but Brian has this talent for not making _anything_ seem like a big deal, even when it’s overstepping the boundaries of his uncertain friendship with Dom. 

Their first kiss will remain branded into Dom’s memory for as long as he lives. 

Hot, hard, fast and furious; Brian kisses him like he’s been waiting for it to happen and he has no qualms about thrusting his tongue straight down Dom’s throat. Dom splays his large hands over Brian’s ass and lifts him up, silently gloating with masculine pride at the way Brian’s whimpers as he’s manhandled. 

‘I want you so fuckin’ much,’ Brian moans, right into Dom’s mouth, and for what feels like the first time in Dom’s life there’s no quid pro quo involved. Brian doesn’t want parts or inside information on races or a spot on his team or even a goddamn tuna sandwich; he just wants _Dom_ , and the knowledge makes Dom growl and grind their hips together until they both come.

Brian is there whenever Letty is not and sometimes when she is. Their attempts at sex are limited to mutual masturbation and blowjob attempts that Dom, to his humiliation, never can seem to get the hang of (he just can’t bring himself to swallow) but Brian never complains. 

‘This is all I want,’ he says. ‘Nothing more, nothing less, for as long as you’ll give it to me.’

It takes Dom too long to become aware that Brian _loves_ him. 

By the time he wakes up and understands the full extent of Brian’s feelings for him Letty is dead and everyone has scattered and everything is more broken than it has ever been.

It’s too _late_.

Brian tries his best to spare Dom a lifetime of incarceration but the effort is wasted. Dom accepts his sentence feeling as if he’s aged fifty years in an instant and with a million things he should have said dancing on the tip of his tongue.

He doesn’t say so, but he really doesn’t want Brian to visit him. 

Of _course_ Brian has to bring up the impossible on his very first visit. ‘We could – ‘ he says, breaking off the sentence because they’re inevitably being watched and listed to and gestures with his head at the barred windows. 

Dom sighs. ‘How?’ he asks. Brian doesn’t know.

Naturally, Brian can’t keep well enough away. He visits every Friday without fail and continues to visit long after the rest of his family have stopped coming. Eventually they run out of things to talk about and Brian just sits opposite him, big blue eyes filled with so much hope and regret that Dom can’t bear to look into them.

And then, some weeks later, Brian visits and his neck is peppered with bruises and they _do_ have something to talk about.

‘Sorry,’ Brian says, embarrassed and trying to pull his collar over the marks when Dom points them out. 

‘Don’t be. You deserve to have someone.’ _Someone better than me_ is what he means.

‘I don’t think he likes me coming here,’ Brian says softly, averting his eyes.

‘Why?’ 

‘He thinks I’m using him as a replacement for you.’

‘And are you?’ Dom asks. He already knows the answer, that’s why Brian doesn’t respond.

Dom’s next visitor is one he neither expects nor wants to see. Of course it’s Brian’s…companion (he can’t bring himself to think _boyfriend_ ); he probably can’t resist the compulsion to check out Brian’s past for himself.

He just stops himself from doing a double take when the man enters the room. The man is bald, built and brutish; a blatant imitation of himself. Dom has to hand it to Brian – he’s done a stellar of finding a substitute lover.

‘What the fuck do you want?’ he asks dully. 

‘I want you to ask Brian not to visit anymore,’ the man says. He doesn’t appear _calm_ to Dom but rather stretched tight, a hair’s breadth away from snapping.

Dom looks at him. ‘Why? What does it matter? I’m never getting out of here.’

‘Because he’s stuck in the past. He won’t admit it but I know he’s using me as a replacement for you.’

Dom laughs. ‘Jesus. Me? But I never had him.’ But the more he thinks about it, the more he realises that he’s wrong. 

‘Maybe you should have,’ Brian’s lover says, and Dom thinks _fuck. I fucking did._

‘Fine,’ he finally agrees, ‘But first, I get to ask you a question.’

The man frowns. ‘What?’

‘Is Brian worth it?’ Because he’s worth everything to Dom, and it’ll kill him if this shadow of himself doesn’t feel the same way.

‘I hope so,’ the man says, and then spares Dom a sympathetic glance before stealing Brian from his life forever.

***

Dom spits it out like he’s ripping off a plaster. ‘You need to stop coming here, Brian.’ 

Brian’s brow furrows. ‘Why? Is it something I’ve done?’

Dom reaches across the table to clasp his hand, the first physical contact they’ve had in years. ‘No. It’s what we can’t do.’

Brian gets it but his heart breaks before Dom’s eyes all the same. Mercifully, he doesn’t cry. Dom has never been more thankful, because if he cries Dom will crack and beg for him to stay.

The memory of deliberately breaking Brian’s heart is one that will repeat itself on Dom every night for the next twenty-five years to life. Dom accepts this. This is his punishment because he always had Brian, they had belonged to each other, in every sense of the word.


End file.
